Scamming the Scammers, Part II

The house has THREE liquor chifferobes?! It really is too good to be true!

(214): How are you doing today? did you forward your Deposit becos they are people also interested in the house

(214): Are you able to send your deposit...They are other people that is up for the house
(678): Good morning! Before I submit my deposit, could you email me a pic of the liquor chifferone? You said the house has 1. I need to know it's big enough for us 3.

(214): Do you mean the Liquor chifferobe...

(678): Yes, that's what I mean. You're so sweet! I'll check my email for your pic.

(214): Good...we will be happy to receive you and your nfamily as our guest

(214): Please check your email now

(214): We will be happy to receive you as our guest(214): It will be ncie to have you as our guest

(214): Did you get it?

Email attachment:

(678): I did receive it. Thank you! It has a lovely distressede finish, but I don't think it's large enough for our purpose. Plus, I don't think it's a certified chifferobe. You should contact your dealer. But thank you so much for all your help. We'll have to decline.

(214): we have two of it let me send you the second one

(214): Let me send the second one...we have about 3 in the house

(678): Are you at the house now?

(214): yeah...i am at the house now...We already have you reserved...that is why we declined whosoever booked the house

(678): Oh, that was so kind of you to do

(678): Can you see Cuba today? Is the weather clear enough?

(214): You will be such a nice person

(214): Thanks...
(214): Yeah...sure

(214): All you need to get the house reserved is to get your deposit paid and your date will be reserved successfully.

(214): We will be happy to have you as our guest

(214): You will enjoy the house and its facilities

Scamming the Scammers

I believe in justice. No, I'm not going to go all renegade Bruce Wayne, but if I can make life a little more inconvenient for people who are clearly doing wrong...well, it's on like Donkey Kong.

Take this for instance.

My Oregonian family and I had contemplated taking a trip to the Florida Keys over the holidays. Although we eventually decided against it, I had done a preliminary search for available condos. Mind you, it's the holidays in south Florida. You're lucky if you can find a condemned hovel on wheels for less than $800 a week. So when I found this 3-bedroom renovated condo in Key West, available immediately, for $150 a night....I was suspicious. It's like a dream come true plus a Cabana boy.

Well, I called the number and left an inquiry anyway. They responded via text at 4:30am. Jerks.

Later in the morning I did a 10-minute Google search of the address (and if you're Googling for more than 1 minute, then whatever you're looking for is legitimately difficult to find).

Sure enough, it's a scam. Some jerk overseas with a google voice account has you fill out a fake contract and submit your deposit via paypal. Then it disappears forever into the internet ether. This guy is stealing people's hard earned Holiday vacations! DURING CHRISTMAS. Nobody messes with Christmas on my watch. Now, I can't catch this guy. I can't get their money back. But I can....waste an enormous amount of his time.

Let the text war begin.

*DISCLAIMER

1) For the record, neither I nor my family (despite being from the very green state of Oregon) are smokers

2) I don't actually own a pot-belly pig, so don't worry. My candles and throw pillows are fine.

3) If you want this guy's number, I'd be happy to give it to you.

4) All misspellings and weird capitalizations are true to the original. I'm pretty sure he didn't understand half of the stuff I was asking him.

(214): I just sent you the information you will need abt the house

(678): Thank you very much!

(214): hURRY NOW AND MAKE YOUR RESERVATIONS

(214): ITS XMAS SEASON...OTHER PEOPLE ARE UP FOR THE HOUSE

(678): Can you tell me what the weekly and nightly rates are?

(214): WHAT'S YOUR RESERVATION LIKE?? SO I CAN GET THE ESTIMATIONS TO YOU ANS THE COST

(214): INCLUDING THE PAYMENT METHOD

(678): We are interested in Dec 28-Jan 1st. We can pay by check, cash, or online payment. We're flexible. :)

(214): Thanks and happy booking We will be happy to receive you as our guest

(678): Ok, well, I need a rate before I book anything. Lol.

(214): let me get the estimations to you

(678): Thank you! :) I appreciate your help on such short notice.

(214): its 150 per night

(214): do i still need to send you the terms and conditions

(214): Are you interested

(678): Sure, thank you. I am very interested. I have to confirm with my family in Oregon.

(214): I just send it to you now...please try and check your email now

(214): No problem at all...You are welcome

(678): is it Flemming St or Fleming St with 1 m? I'm google mapping the house for a street view. :)

(214): Flemming St

(214): Hurry now and make your reservations

(678): Also, do you accept pets? We have a pot-belly pig. She is housetrained and crate trained. Very sweet.

(214): are you coming with a pet? and if you do they is much space for that hope is a clean dog though

(678): It's a pot belly pig. Much cleaner than a dog. Also, how tolerant are the neighbors of smoke? Like, outside. We wouldn't smoke inside, obviously.

(214): Are many people is occupying the house...will like to know

(678): 3 adults. Me and my parents. We are low key. Not party people. We just like to smoke together, if you know what I mean. They're from Oregon, haha, amiright?

(214): No problem about that...how do you want to go about your deposit so i can get a receipt issued to you immediately

(678): Sometimes the pot belly joins in too. Hahaha. We can put her mattress outside if she's a problem.

(678): Deposit, sure. Can you accept cash? I'm in Miami now, it would be easy for me to skip down there. Avoid those paypal fees.

(214): i sent you the estimations of the unit

(678): Is there a liquor chifferobe?

(214): Yeah sure...

(214): i wrote it in the mail that We Accept Payment via Paypal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): So we can get you reserved ASAP

(214): We prefer you use western union or money tram if you don't want to use paypal

(678): What about payment in-kind? I mentioned that I smoke...

(214): You will need a lease agreement...can i send you that now

(214): no problem...but we dont want the house to be dirty...

(678): Oh, no. We are very clean. We bathe every day mostly.

(214): no problem about the smoking

(214): The house is very spacious

(678): Sure. Can you send directions on how to use the pool? Can the pot belly go in the pool? We all love to swim.

(214): once the deposit has been made...the Lease agreement and terms and condition will be send to you ASAP

(214): Thanks...amd it will be glad to receive you as out guest

(678): Question. How far is Cuba from the house? Is it close enough for a day trip?

(214): Which one do you prefer. PayPal, Money Fram, Western union money transfer

(214): its is not that far...will you be coming from cuba

(678): Yes, we're from Miami

(214): its not far...when are you making your reservations? so we can get you reserved

(214): will be there personally to hand over the keys to the house to you

(678) Dec 28-1st. In time for the Cuban New Year. Yay! Can't wait!

(214): because some other people are up for the house

(214): Hurry up and make your reservations

(678): Ok, I'll work on the paperwork as soon as I talk to my family. Have to feed the pot belly pig too. She's snorting at me. Haha! Silly pig. Thank you!

(214): Let me send the lease agreement to you. Thanks and Merry Xmas in advance

(678): Thank you, Happy Kwanza!

(214): please check your email its has been sent to you

Some hours later....

(214): Are you still interested in the house?

(678): I've been busy, haven't had a chance to decide. I had to take the pot belly to the emergency vet. She ate 3 throw pillows and a decorative pillar candle. Ugh!

(214): let us know what is happening...So we can get you reserved in time

(678): Can you remove the pillar candles from the house?

(214): yeah...why?

(678): Well, don't want another emergency trip to the vet. :(

(214): okay then...So when are you making your reservation

(678) Dec 28-Jan 1

(214): yeah...i got the estimations to you...we are waiting to make your deposit paid and we get your receipt to you ASAP

(214): We Accept PayPal, Money Gram, Western union money transfer Only

(214): which one do you prefer

(678): Will you accept Cuba Libre Bank Online Billpay?

(214): we gave you the payment we prefer...that is the terms and condition applied

(214): Are you booking...i think western union money transfer will be ok

(678): Oh, ok. I'm so sorry. Paypal is fine. Sure I can't just give you my bank account info and do a transfer?

(214): Let me text you our payment officer Paypal email address and get you the deposit there and a receipt will be issued to you immediately...Happy booking

(214): Forward to [email address removed to protect the guilty]

(678): Thank you! I'll work on it tonight. I'm at work now. Have to empty this executive liquor chifferobe by the end of the day or my boss will surely fire me. :(

(214): Once the Fund has been made...Just forward the confirmation from paypay and get back y=to us

(214): We will be happy to receive you and Your family as our guest

This went on for many highly enjoyable hours. I'm sure there will be more. Stay tuned.

Starting out strong

This week is going much better.
Monday I pulled out the trusty old Kenpo X video, and had a nice little kickboxing session. Then I promptly made shepherd's pie and pretzel caramels. But don't worry. The shepherd's pie was actually a lower calorie variation, at only about 350 calories a serving. With this cold weather, I needed a little comfort food. As for the pretzel caramels, well, I had a few. OK, 3 or 4. But I had purposely eaten light all day, knowing they were on the docket for the evening.

I took the day off on Tuesday to address the calamitous condition of my domestic affairs. That is, I had a lot of laundry and cleaning and tidying to do when I got home.

Today I went to the gym to teach the "Back to Abs" class and then jumped on the stairmaster for 30 min. So double check off my list.

I've been pretty good about eating well. I hit around 1700 yesterday, but considering the sheer length of the day (Lawd, it was a day), I won't be too hard on myself. I'm going to be on my best behavior the next few days because I anticipate having thousands of extra calories at the 2011 Highlands Club Holiday Pub Crawl. See you there.

It sucks being a grown-up

It's been a very busy week. I've had career information sessions, an interview, late nights at work, late nights at the brewery, long days working at the barn...I'm making excuses, really. It's Saturday, and I've barely made a dent in my list.

However, when I've been able to work out, I've done well. I did a solid upper body workout while watching Grimm on demand the other night (love that show), and then I taught a really intense spin class at 6:30am on Friday. Today I taught horseback riding lessons from 9-2, so I'm just going to go ahead and count that as a cardio session. Lol, it's walking and yelling, lifting heavy poles and running about the ring. If that's not exercise, then I don't know what it.

As for my pseudo-diet, it's been hit or miss. I did great Monday through Wed, actually staying well below 1500 calories. Then Stephanie forced beer down my throat at ABC on Thursday (it's all her fault). On Friday, I decided to bake these oatmeal fudge bars I've been dreaming about. Stephanie was not present, so I can't blame that on her. Maybe I will anyway. It's all your fault, Stephanie.
I have no idea where my calorie count is today, but I worked at the barn straight from 9-2 with only a granola bar and a few tangerines, and I managed to only eat 4 or 5 (or was it 5 or 6) of those oatmeal fudge bars when I got home....yeah, who am I kidding? Today is blown because of those fudge bars. Lol. Luckily, I am going to my mom's house, so I can pawn them off on her. Does putting up Xmas decorations count as a cardio workout?

I did manage to have the most incredible steak last night. I tired a dry spice rub featuring, of all things, instant coffee powder. And it was de-freakin-licious. Skirt and flank steak can go oh-so wrong oh-so easily, despite how simple it is to cook. I've collected a lot of tasty marinades for flank streak over the years, but I've never tried a dry rub. Boy, am I glad I did. I had also bought some mango pico de gallo (in the salad section at Walmart), which I ate over some romaine with light berry vinaigrette. I was very happy at the dinner table.

COFFEE RUBBED STEAK - I pulled the recipe out of the latest Food Network Magazine (which you should really buy!). The flavor reminds me of mole sauce. It's dark and rich, but the brown sugar gives it a caramelized sweetness. Niiiiice. Best of all, the entire process took 15 min. The original recipe actually called for sauteing sliced onions and peppers with a little lime juice in the drippings, which would probably have blown my fragile mind had I tried it.
- 2 Tb packed light brown sugar
- 1 Tb instant coffee
- 1 tsp unsweetened cocoa powder
- 1 tsp mustard powder
- 1/2 tsp chili powder
- 1/8 tsp cinnamon
- salt
- 1 1/4 to 1 1/2 lb skirt steak, cut in half if necessary
- ~1 Tb vegetable oil

1. If your steak seems tough, wrap in saran wrap and lightly beat the shit out of it with a mallet. But don't tenderize it flat. It's gotta go to church in the mornin', and you don't want nobody askin' no questions.
2. Thoroughly combine first 6 ingredients and 1 tsp salt.
3. Lightly season steak with more salt, then thoroughly rub the spice mixture into both sides of the steak.
4. Heat oil in a cast-iron skillet over medium heat. Sear steak, 3-6 min per side for medium rare.
5. Transfer to a cutting board and let rest a few min before slicing.